Click below to listen to Episode 77 – Pursuing Significance At Life’s Halftime

77 – Pursuing Significance At Life’s Halftime

Join in as Bob discusses finding your calling in life with Halftime Institute founder Lloyd Reeb.

Many of us reach a point in life where we have achieved some measure of success and might have even accumulated more than we need, yet there’s still something missing. Eventually, we come to realize that accumulating more things or pursuing career advancement is simply not enough and we want our lives to count for something that will live on long after we’re gone. Bob is joined by special guest Lloyd Reeb, the founding partner and spokesman for the Halftime Institute.

The Halftime Institute is a global organization that provides learning experiences to peer groups, and coaches men and women through what they call a “mid-life renewal”. He is the primary spokesperson for the Halftime movement, which is helping successful people pursue and find significance for their lives. His book, “From Success to Significance – When the Pursuit of Success Isn’t Enough”, is a roadmap for those in a mid-life transition, as well as “Halftime for Couples” written by Lloyd and his wife, Linda, of 37 years.

GUESTS: Lloyd Reeb
HOSTED BY: Bob Barber, CWS®, CKA®

Mentioned In This Episode

Christian Financial Advisors
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Bob Barber, CWS®, CKA®
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Lloyd Reeb
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Halftime Institute
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From Success To Significance
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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

[INTRODUCTION]

Welcome to “Christian Financial Perspectives”, where you’re invited to gain insight, wisdom and knowledge about how Christians integrate their faith, life and finances with a Biblical Worldview. Here’s your host Christian Investment Advisor, Financial Planner, and Coach Bob Barber.

[EPISODE]

Bob:
So this is Bob Barber and for today’s podcast I have a special guest, Lloyd Reeb, and I’ve known Lloyd for a long time. He’s with an institute called the Halftime Institute, and I’m going to read something to you. It’s off page five of this book called “Halftime For Couples”, and this is setting up for today’s interview with Lloyd. So here it goes. “We Meet them in our neighborhood, listen to their stories on airplanes, and hear them at parties and it’s easy to see how they got here. They are all looked up to, sophisticated and seasoned. They are successful by every normal measure, but something’s missing in their inner world. Surrounded by noise and buried and crazy schedules, their most cherished relationships are not as rich as they wish. They want their lives to count for more, but they feel trapped by their corporate or professional identities. Their lifestyles, while affluent, seem demanding. Their dreams are buried under blankets of responsibility. Their spouses, meanwhile, often are resigned to the distance and loneliness that comes from these crazy schedules. A lack of intimacy can begin to feel routine, normal, and acceptable. It doesn’t have to be this way, but they don’t really know how to have a deeper conversation about what they’re experiencing at mid life.” Wow. Lloyd that is powerful out of y’alls book, halftime for couples. Welcome to the podcast.

Lloyd:
Thank you, Bob. Yeah. You know, that’s a little bit of a sad story, but also maybe if it resonates with our hearts, it’s pointing us to something that could be far brighter and richer, a journey maybe for the second half that has more intimacy, more meaning, and purpose and less activity and less busy-ness. It’s like what Jesus said. If you follow me, I’ll teach you the unforced rhythms of grace. In our second half, if we have been blessed with some measure of freedom or options or success, we can retool our lives together if we happen to be married instead of drifting. And when we drift, what I find is most couples that drift into their second half, they have some plans. They have plans around travel. They have plans around where they’re going to live in the winter and the summer. They have hobby plans. They might have, but not all, have a financial and estate plan, but very seldom do they have a plan for their life that’s rooted in their calling. How to get from here to there is the question. Linda and I have had the privilege of being on the journey with hundreds and hundreds of other couples and pretty much every planet over the last 20 years since we started the halftime Institute with Bob Buford and it’s a journey.

Bob:
Y’all might be wondering who is Lloyd? Well, Lloyd, he’s been a successful real estate developer, and he’s made a halftime transition. In 1993 he started this and he looked at success, and he reoriented his focus toward a life that has a second half of significance as he calls it. Not only has he written this book “Halftime For Couples” with his wife, Linda – is that 37 years I’ve been married now?

Lloyd:
[Jokingly] That’s right. Yeah. I married Linda when she was 12.

Bob:
[Laughing] Man, you know how to get points. And he’s also written a book called “Success To Significance”. For 15 years, he’s dedicated his life to speaking about this subject of halftime issues. And I heard him speak at the recent Kingdom Advisors conference in Orlando where he spoke on this second half and he broke this process down into seven parts that we’re really going to go into today. And it really starts with reflection. And what do you mean by that, Lloyd, when you say reflection?

Lloyd:
Well, you know, very often you reach a turning point in life and you might call it halftime. Like in football, you take a pause, you go into the locker room, you think about what went well and didn’t go well in the first half of the game. And incidentally, most games are won and lost in the second half. So, it’s a pause in midlife. Now, the interesting thing is, well why do we think there’s two halves to life? Well, you know the average life expectancy in America a hundred years ago was 47 or 48. So you came out of high school if you got a high school education. You worked hard your whole life, maybe in a factory or on a farm. You had children. Some of them died of infant mortality. You had aches and pains at 48 or 49 that you and I wouldn’t expect or tolerate in this time in history, and you are at the end of your average life expectancy. And not only that, because you are a manual worker, your best years of contribution were behind you. But today when you reach 50 you have 30 bonus years that you didn’t have on average back then. At a turning point in your career, if you’ve worked from 20 to 50, you look up from your desk and wonder, okay, is this all these is? Is there something else for this next season of my life? What was I put on this planet to do? And if you’ve been staying at home raising a family, if you’ve chosen to be at home raising a family, then kids start leaving for college. And maybe the last one trundles off. And I don’t know about you, Bob. When we dropped our little girl Jenny off at college, I was fiddling around, you know, saying to her, honey, do you want fridge here and is your bed at the right height? And what about this closet? And finally, Jenny came to me and said, dad, I know what you’re doing. I said, what? She said, you’re stalling.

Bob:
Yes. I got to admit, I remember – our daughter’s name is Jenna – and we dropped her off at Liberty University and I was doing the same exact thing. So, I’m with your brother.

Lloyd:
Yeah. And then they take you to your car, they give you a hug and a kiss, and they turn around and what? They turnaround and what? Walk away. And your job description has just changed, whether you like it or not. The question is, what will you do with the second half? Will you invest it in a way that you and your family celebrate a hundred years from now? Or, will you squander it? Picking up shells on a beach somewhere, playing golf or tennis, doing Bible study even. Without clarity about your calling, you can squander your second half doing things that are good and acceptable, but maybe not the best. I think the best footing when you stare into the second half of 30 bonus years and ask yourself, “How can I make this the best season of my life?” It’s to study heaven. Every August I take out my books on heaven, including Randy Alcorn’s book on heaven, which is a treaties, and it’s really a reference book. It’s thick. It’s deep. It’s cumbersome.

Bob:
You’re not kidding about that. We listened to that last year on the way to Colorado, the audio version. Man, that’ll take you places you never thought you’d go.

Lloyd:
Exactly. But what happens is it recalibrates your thinking. You know, it’s perfectly acceptable in Christian circles to have a good career. Save your money, live responsibly. Accumulate wealth. Protect your kids by sending them to, you know, a private school or homeschooling them, and cultivate their hearts and instill God’s word in their hearts. And in so doing, hope that it protects them from harm and sets us up for comfort. But this is not a cruise ship. This is a battleship. And when you find yourself at midlife with 30 bonus years, you have a choice to either focus on comfort and entertainment and what’s going to be nice for me or pushing the pause button and looking up and making eye contact with God and getting your unique assignment from him and then going and doing it with everything you have. Following God always involves risk and sacrifice. There’s no avoiding it because he doesn’t need you. He wants you and he’s using this time, the short time of life on earth to shape your heart and character. When you and I opt out for a life of leisure and comfort and all of the Christian norms of middle-income or upper income Christianity in America, we’re actually missing out on the grand adventure that we would celebrate a hundred years from now. The best antidote I find for me personally because God’s blessed us with success, I’ve had 25 years of financial freedom. I’m 58 years old. It’s so easy for comfort and security to take over my life. When I study heaven each August, it re-buoys me. It focuses me on the longterm. How do I want to invest my hours here on this planet that will be in my own longterm best interest a hundred years from now or a thousand years from now? You know, it’s as if you and I have a boatload of Confederate currency, and the war is ending. Imagine if you are an affluent southerner during the civil war and you had all this currency and you could see the war was ending. You’d be in a mad scramble to translate it into something that will outlast because that currency went to zero. And the same is true for us. We have time, we have talent, we have influence, we have resources, we have freedom. We have God’s word stuck in our heart. We’re mature in our Christianity. And not only that, we’re modeling something for our kids and grandkids. What are they seeing? Are they seeing that when grandma and grandpa got to midlife and they were secure, that they drifted into their second half and they cruised and they are RV’d around the country and they went to Bible study and they played tennis and they took care of their health and they loved their grandkids. But, they never took a risk for Jesus. We never got a sense that they knew their calling and they were living it out regardless of the risk and sacrifice that it required of them. And I think that we might miss out on the joy that comes with that second, less comfortable pathway.

Bob:
Wow. Lloyd, I tell you what, when I listened to your passion for this, it reminds me of a quote my brother said one time and he was with family life ministry and he says, “Bob, have you gotten out of your Holy huddle lately?” And I’m like, well, I’m comfortable in my Holy huddle. And when you are messing with people’s comfort, I just hope they stay with us the whole podcast.

Lloyd:
Yeah, it’s not comfortable. It’s not comfortable for me. You know, I’m sitting here on Lake Norman up North of Charlotte and I’ve got two choices today. I can go out biking, I could take the boat out. I mean, it’s a nice day here. The sun’s going to come out in a little bit. I I’m going to take my granddaughter for a an hour and a half late afternoon and I could just kind of coast along and enjoy myself and enjoy the day, or I can say, Lord, help me prepare to make an impact in this time of crisis. Help me focus on what you’ve called me to do. And you know, this happens to be a time of crisis globally. And historically, Christians have showed up at this time and made a difference in the church exploded in the darkest eras of human history. The question is, am I available to be a part of that? Yesterday, I was leading a cohort of successful CEOs in Monaco of all places. By zoom. It’s six o’clock in the morning my time. It’s noon, their time. It’s a lunch gathering now that they can’t meet in person. So, they meet on zoom. None of them are Christian. Not a single one is Christian. I’m teamed up with a guy that’s been with campus crusade for more than 40 years. He used to run all the campus ministries, Bob, in the US when you and I were in college, and he and his wife are there, in their seventies, in Monaco on purpose, reaching people of means and influence with the gospel. Can you imagine the privilege of partnering with a 72 year old guy that could be drifting along at some retirement community in South Carolina? But he’s all in in Monaco taking these people on a journey where they don’t want to hear about God, and he’s got a winsome way and he’s got the age and the patina that are required to reach a CEO in Monaco with a big boat sitting out front in the harbor. And I’ll tell you, it’s not an easy conversation. They push back on every idea that we raise up, and we just count on God, you know? And so one of the things I said to them, this last call, I said, you know, in time of crisis, where do you go back to? And I shared with them something that Doris Drucker told me. Peter Drucker was the father of modern management theory, and when he passed away at age 95, she said that the last two days of his life he spent in the fetal position repeating the 23rd Psalm in his mother tongue of German. Now, if you think about perhaps one of the wisest men, the smartest brains on our planet during his generation, when it was time, when there was nothing else left except facing his death, he turned to the 23rd Psalm. And it’s interesting. These CEOs on my call yesterday said, could you send that to me?

Bob:
Really? You mean like the 23rd Psalm?

Lloyd:
Yeah, yeah. Could you send that to me? They haven’t read it before. Now imagine, I could be sitting in Naples, Florida on a beach, you know, for a yet another day talking about politics, watching that clock run down. Or I could be engaged in an eternal conversation with CEOs who ask to hear the 23rd Psalm. So I went and found it in video form with a male voice, and I sent it to them. And who knows? But today they may be listening to, “The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want.” They have everything and they’re still deeply in want you. And I have a choice. We can either drift along or we can get clear on our calling. And there’s a French poet that said, once you know your calling, it will follow you the rest of your life, like an accusing shadow. Is there anything you know is your purpose on this planet that’s following you around like a shadow?

Bob:
So Lloyd, as I hear this, it really speaks to my heart and I know it’s speaking to our listeners hearts, too. You’re getting the end. So, where do we go from here? Can you give me some tools to help me look forward as to how I can find that calling? I immediately just think, okay, I’m going to pray to God and ask him for that calling. But I just see there’s a lot more to this, and finding that calling.

Lloyd:
Yeah, absolutely. And it’s a big difference between volunteerism and knowing your calling. So one place to start that you referred to earlier is looking back over your shoulder. When were you at your best? When were you most at peace? What was the most painful experience in your life, and how has it shaped you? Tana Green got pregnant at 16 and got married and for the next four years she was beaten up. And so at 20, she broke free from being beaten up on a regular basis and she said she made a commitment to herself. She would own her own home at 26. She would own her own company by age 30, and today she’s 60 and she has 4,000 employees. And her passion is domestic violence. Out of her employees, probably there is a percentage of them that are involved in domestic violence, either propagating it or experiencing it. She’s written a book about it. She’s the chairwoman of the domestic violence center in her city. She was on Fox news yesterday morning talking about what she’s doing around supply chains and and this issue. There’s a woman who could just be drifting along with her company, letting it run. She’s got a good chief operating officer, but she’s doubling down around something that when she first realized that God could use the pain of her past to be a passion for the future, her life went from black and white to color. The second thing is to look ahead and get clear on what you want. Here’s what the Bible says, and you can look this up later, but for the time being, let this drift through your mind. In Galatians 6:4-5 The Message translation, it says, “Give careful exploration of who you are and the work you’ve been given and sink yourself into it. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of us must take responsibility to do the creative best we can with our own life.” So the creative best you can is not drifting into your second half with plans for travel, hobbies, where are you going to live in the summer and the winter, and how much you’re going to leave to your kids when you die. Those are important plans, but that’s not giving careful thought to who you are and the work you’ve been given. When you have freedom in your second half and kids start leaving home and you have some financial freedom and you can see the classic kind of retirement on the horizon, you have an opportunity to get clear on who you are and the work you’ve been given and sink yourself into it. It doesn’t say dabble in. It doesn’t say do enough serving the Lord just so you feel better about yourself so you have a slightly more significant life. It says, sink yourself into it. What the Lord is trying to get us to do is to lay up treasure in heaven, and take our family on a faith adventure where their hearts will be rooted in following the Lord. You know, I can afford to buy my kids the world’s best education. But imagine this, if you had to choose between giving your kids the best education or teaching them to hear the voice of God and follow, which would you choose?

Bob:
I would choose the voice of God and follow without a shadow of a doubt in my mind because I’ve seen what a college education can do in pulling them away from that. Even sending them to Christian schools can do that.

Lloyd:
Yeah, and and so it’s not so much that we don’t want to invest in our kids’ education. It’s just that you think about how much mental share of mind we put into kids’ education. We spent evenings talking about should they go to this school? Should we homeschool them? Should we do this? Should we do that? Which college should they go to? And we can pay for that. But to teach the kids how to hear the voice of God and follow, I can’t buy that. I have to model it for them. And your grandkids too. If your grandkids see grandma just drifting through life, how will they learn to hear the voice of God and follow? And our kids are 33, 32, 31, 28, and 26, and then Linley, the sweetest one of them all, is two. And she’s gonna wear me out this afternoon reading boots and boota in English, is books. Linda’s passion is Mom’s Mentoring. If you go to momsmentoring.com, you will find her tribe of young moms. And we had four close friends get divorced in one year about 12 years ago. And we were angry. And one day she came to me, I had been asking Linda, what is your calling? What’s your mission? And she was playing, you know, in the worship band at church and she was teaching Sunday School and she was doing PTA and all this other good stuff. But when our four friends got divorced, she was angry, and for the first time in her life she had a passion and she said, you know, it’s like we’re running an ambulance service at the bottom of the hill, but no one has bothered to build a guardrail at the top of the hill. I’m not doing ambulance service anymore. I am going to go to the top of the hill and work with young moms before a crisis hits to build strong marriages and healthy families. So there’s a tribe of women now all around like Norman that are young moms that are building healthy families in strong marriages because of Linda’s investment in them. And that’s a good thing. But the great thing is our kids are watching her. They came to a funeral of a lady that Linda was running with who didn’t know the Lord. She got saved on her 49th birthday, and she died in her sleep six months later. The kids had been praying for her. And so we went to Kathy’s funeral and I let Linda go to the casket first and then off to the side room. And then I went up with the three kids and I said to them, this is not a joke. This is your mom’s calling. She’s invested in this lady. You prayed for her and today she is in heaven. This is not a joke. And so today our daughter Carolyn is a missionary with CRU in France and she is quarantined in her little apartment reaching out hour by hour to students in France that think God is irrelevant. For the first time in their life they have time to sit and listen and hear it and watch a Francis Chan video and engage. It’s not an accident that all the students in France have to stay home, and there’s nothing for them to do. Carrie’s been prepared for 31 years to play this role in their life. That didn’t just happen. It was something that her mom was building into her by modeling how you hear the voice of God and follow.

Bob:
So that is our mission is helping others to find their calling. We find our own calling by helping others find their calling as well.

Lloyd:
So yeah. So Bob, if you think about for you and I to open up a conversation with our spouse about, Hey honey, we’ve got years ahead, Lord willing, and God’s blessed us. We’re not super wealthy maybe, but we’ve got some financial resources. We have freedom. We have all these talents. We’ve studied the word of God for years. We have influence. We have a voice. We have some freedom. What are we going to do? And is it converging or is it separate? Which is fine. Are there some things we’re called to do separately and some overlap? And so if you think of the model for looking at at your future, looking ahead, there’s a vision, two circles that are separate. That would be like if you and your spouse had two different callings and you know you’re on an intimate journey together, you talk a lot about it, but what you do in service is separate. Or envision two circles where they overlap a little bit in the middle. That would be in a situation where you do one thing, your spouse does other things, and there’s some things you do together. Now, envision a third scenario where the two circles completely overlap. And this would be a scenario where you’re both called to the same kind of service, but you do different things because you have different strengths. And by the way, when you think about your calling in the second half, this is not about selling your company or bailing from corporate America. We still own our retirement business. It’s what helps fund our family. But it’s not about quitting your job, going and serving at church, joining a nonprofit, although it might be. Instead, it’s about getting clear in your calling and living it out. It could easily be in your business platform. Bob, your business is a ministry and it would probably be a mistake for you to close up shop or sell your business, your practice, and go volunteer at a soup kitchen because you’re uniquely equipped to help people think through biblical financial matters in their life so that it gives them freedom, and they can honor God with their resources.

Bob:
Oh yeah, absolutely. During this, during this time right now that we’ve gone through with the Corona virus I just told my wife yesterday, I feel like, you know, a pastor all day long in speaking with my clients and encouraging them that God’s in control and he has this and keep your head up. Don’t look down, keep your head up and look to the future. And God is going to do amazing things through all this, but it’s hard for them to see. So yeah, I agree with you. Now, one of the things is that as I’m talking with Rachel about this, she’s got her vision and her significant and then I kind of have mine and she’s watching me, but she doesn’t really feel a part of that Lloyd. So that’s where I can see where you want to get your, you and your spouse on the same page moving forward with supporting one another. And Rachel definitely, she supports me wholeheartedly, but I want her to have that calling to, I want to, you know, right now her calling, she says is being the wind beneath my wings and helping me, but it’s all about me. I want it to be, you know, and we got the new grand baby and helping our daughter with the grand baby.

Lloyd:
Well, here’s one of the things that just honest, observational, though it may seem harsh, but when I first said to Linda, Hey, you know, God’s blessed our business, we have freedom, we could do whatever. Let’s go explore what he has for us to do next. And I said, you know, one of the things he may want for us to do next is to simply grow our business. We get to care for seniors in our facilities. We get to take care of lots of grandmas and grandpas. I mean, that’s a God honoring business, right? So we went on a journey to try to figure out how does God want to use us – me rather. And so I said to Linda, she could see that I was finding so much joy in what I was called to do in this halftime ministry and it fits me perfectly. I said to her honey, why don’t you write a mission statement? My mission is to be a thought leader, mobilizing high capacity business leaders to make a kingdom impact. That’s all I do every day. And it helps me say a smiling no to 90% of the things that are good but not great for me to do. And so I said to her, why don’t you write a mission statement? She said, I really don’t want a mission. I mean, it’s so confining. What’s interesting is, is when those four friends got divorced, she was angry at that, not at them, but at what happened that no one intervened to help them at the critical turning points in their marriage. She realized she was doing a lot of good things at the expense of what she was most equipped to do. She’s a teacher. It’s an Institute she runs at Mom’s Mentoring dot com. She’s equipped to serve young moms and she was doing all kinds of other things that were good but not great. One year, she had panic and anxiety and she had to go on Prozac for a year and nothing wrong with Prozac, but it was a wake up call for her that she needed help. She needed to decide what she was called to do and what she was doing that really wasn’t her calling. And so today she’s got a mission statement and it helps her focus. But what I remember her saying to me was, I just support you. You always have a big vision, and I just do small stuff and you do the big stuff and you know what, it was a cop out, actually. It was safe for her to stay in that place because if she didn’t write anything down that she felt was her purpose, she couldn’t fail at it. But when you write down something and say, I believe this is my Ephesians 2:10 calling, you know where God says you are my workmanship created in Christ Jesus, there are works prepared for you in advance for you to do. Then, if I write down this is what I feel or this is my calling, the works prepared in advance for me to do, then people around me can say, you know Lloyd, you said you were going to do this. How come you’re doing that? And I might try it. It might fail, and so you can hide out safely by just saying, well I just do whatever God has me do each day. I get up and I take care of my grand babies and I go to Bible study and I volunteer at the church, and you can quickly become sloppy busy. Sloppy busy is when you’re doing lots of good things, but you really aren’t sure what your purpose is, what your calling is.

Bob:
So I’m hearing you say something that kind of strikes me is that are we actually fearful of a mission statement? I think we are.

Lloyd:
Yeah, I think I am. Yeah, I know I am. Because you know when I share that out loud like I just did. Like how do I know it’s going to work? I don’t. Or how do I know I’m not going to just goof off or you know, I’m accountable.

Bob:
So, you have some tools to help us with all of this. What’s a tool I could give to my listeners, besides the word of God and prayer, that would help them to put all this together.

Lloyd:
Yeah, Bob. That’s why Linda and I wrote “Halftime For Couples” as an ebook, and that’s why it’s free is because then it’s viral. You can share it. I mean it’s gone all over Europe and Asia and South Africa, and it’s a 90 minute read. It allows couples to talk through what their dreams are for the next season and what they don’t want. You know, sometimes it’s helpful to start to make a stop doing list at halftime and it enables you to start to build a roadmap. If you just go to halftime.org/couples, you can download it free. You can send it to your listeners, Bob, but halftime.org/couples and just click on download and you will have a tool that’s not perfect, but it’s our best effort to help you navigate some of these big things. And the basic architecture is look back and take stock, look ahead and dream, look inside and discover who you are, what are your strengths, and then look around and see who are the stakeholders in my life that I need to get in sync with – my spouse, my kids, my friends, and then look up and really ask the Lord for wisdom as you move forward in following him. So it’s a simple, simple way to, in 90 minutes, distill the longing for more meaning and purpose in our next half into a plan.

Bob:
I started doing this last night cause I knew we were talking today and I actually took what you gave us at Kingdom Advisors and I can’t believe I haven’t done that yet, but I started it. And looking back, what went well, what did not go well? You know, what do you need to repair? And I’m just going to be transparent with everyone here. You know what? Well, I built a business and you know, I made it a success by the world’s standards. What did not go well? I was way too hard on my kids. I was way too legalistic. And what do you need to repair? I need to repair that and I’m already starting to repair that with my kids and I think it’s the grandpa and me now. But I could see that and relaxing a little bit and showing grace. I was so tightly wound when I was younger and I’m about 58. I’ll be 58 in June. And looking ahead, you know, what would you like more of? What would you like less of in this next season as you work together? And really, I’m just thinking to myself, I don’t need to be so focused on just work, and I’m so focused on that. I need to take and focus more of my time on my wife and focus more of my time on my kids because I was so focused on the business. I didn’t have time to focus enough on my kids. Now, I don’t know if anybody else can relate to this, but I know you speak with people every single day that this is their story. What are your greatest fears? Okay, my greatest is not having enough money to retire on and I’m like come on, get real Bob. You know, if I just liquidated everything, I’d have more than enough. More than enough. But you know, it’s looking at my lifestyle, but I love this lifestyle. I’m comfortable, Lloyd.

Lloyd:
Yeah. So the beauty here, Bob, is that you and I have gone from podcast to really just thinking out loud and saying, Lord, what is it that’s standing in my way of the life you most wanted for me?

Bob:
Exactly.

Lloyd:
Is it comfort. Is it fear? Is it a lack of clarity? Do I not have a process? Is it just I don’t have the courage to lean into it? I mean not trusting that you have something better for me than just holding onto this comfort.

Bob:
It takes courage, and my prayer is that all of our listeners today find that courage to reach in and do this project and don’t think of it as a project. Think of it as a life long journey of changing that second half and making it significant and looking at what you’ve learned from your past and how can you learn from your past. Because, Lloyd, I met you and we’re about the same age. You know, we got a little bit of gray in our hair.

Lloyd:
Actually no, I’ve got a little bit of brown in my hair. It’s mostly silver. I think silver is better than gray. The Word sounds better.

Bob:
I like that too. Yeah. Like it says in the scripture, searching for silve., So as we come to the end, let’s try to sum this up in a couple of minutes of what you would have us do with this. We’re going to go to the website. We’re going to download halftime for couples. What are we going to run into when we start doing this? Because it’s frightening, quite frankly.

Lloyd:
Yeah. I would say when I encounter something in my life that I know is a growth opportunity, I want to hide it. And the most important thing I can do is put it out on the table. Just come home and tell people in my family, here’s what I’ve just learned and here’s where I need to grow. If you’re sitting there thinking our kids have moved or gone off to college or gotten married, and I’m tempted to just hunker down and do my comfortable little Christian deal, take care of grand babies, and not really make eye contact with God and get my calling and be all in including the risk and sacrifice it’s going to require. I encourage you to stare that one down, put that topic on the table, talk about it, and ask your spouse, ask your kids for encouragement and help to lean into this process of confronting the lack of clarity, the comfort, the fears that you may have, and go on a journey to find out God’s call. It’s different than volunteerism. When you know you’re calling, time flies by and you’ll know it when you experience it and maybe you’re already deep into it and you can help others and encourage others on this journey. And then secondly, I would say, you know, take this tool “Halftime For Couples” and use it as a couple if you happen to be married and if not, use it individually as a guide to help you think this through. And then at the Halftime Institute, we have coaches. We have female coaches and male coaches that can help you over the phone. Even just two or three calls can help you make progress on this journey. And you know, one of the things you mentioned, Bob, that I want to end with is almost every guy that I coach through Halftime, I ask him, what do you want if life turned out perfectly? And one of the things they say is my family would be thriving. So I ask them about that. And then they very often say, well, what if you don’t feel like you did your best? What if you have some regrets about the first half that it really wasn’t as thriving as you hoped it would be?

Bob:
You’re talking to me, man.

Lloyd:
That’s almost all of us. And so here’s the thing that’s interesting. I’ve never seen a guy disappointed if he takes his kids out one by one and asks them, what has it been like for you growing up with me as your dad? Tell me everything, and it creates a blank canvas to paint a different picture together for this next season. Most of us are absolutely afraid of that, but when guys do that, they come back with tears in their eyes. They’ll often have a letter in hand and say, my son sent me this two page letter, and I can’t believe that grace my kids have extended. You start the second half in your family with a blank canvas.

Bob:
Well, I think we’ll end on that, and God’s got this y’all. God’s got it. And give it to him. I tell you, you don’t have to go through this journey alone. Lloyd is here with the Halftime Institute. I’m here. I want to help you find that life of significance because as we go into that second half, there’s so much more that God wants to do with you. We’re going to conclude on that, Lloyd. Thank you so much for being so transparent. I could just talk to you for hours about this.

Lloyd:
Well, you know what’s interesting, Bob, is that’s because this is our calling for both of us, and time flies by. I mean, it just flies by when you’re in the zone.

Bob:
It does. It does. We’re going to conclude on that. If you want to give us a call – if you want to give me a call – call us at 830-609-6986 or you can go to our website at ciswealth.com and email me from that. Just know we’re here for you. God loves you and so do we.

[CONCLUSION]

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[DISCLOSURES]

Comments from today’s show are for informational purposes only and not to be considered investment advice or recommendations to buy or sell any company that may have been mentioned or discussed. The opinions expressed are solely those of the host, Bob Barber and his guests. Bob does not provide tax advice and encourages you to seek guidance from a tax professional. Investment advisory services offered through Christian Investment Advisors Inc. DBA Christian Financial Advisors, a registered investment advisor.